bottlecap_boo

i woke up this morning and bumped my toe up against something, and it hurt. but then it still hurt a half hour later, so i looked at it. and it turned out that i had a sliver of glass stuck in the tip of it. it hurt when i took it out, but not too much. mom says i must have gotten it yesterday or the day before, because it only started hurting because it started to get infected. now it still hurts a bit, not too much though. i still have no idea where i couldve gotten it from. i mean, there hasnt been any broken glass since Christmas when Alex broke the christmas tree ornament.

im bitter. im a hell of a lot more bitter than most people think i am. i mean, you first impression of me would be a shy girl. but thats because thats what i am at the beginning. i can hardly ever talk to anyone i dont know, im horrible at conversations, and for some reason i get really fidgety. its really annoying, knowing that my first impression is of a girl whos too shy to say hello. but apparently according to China, yes, my first impression was that i was not bitter. but i am i guess. and i know i am, i admit it. im also a bitch. like right now, im randomly getting into fights with my dad for no reason at all. maybe because hes just getting on my nerves right now. maybe thats why i have such a hard time making friends, because im too shy. i think it has to do with the rejection factor. it all comes back to all of my bad friendships. ive never had any real true friends before i came to Wat. i mean, this is the first time in years that ive actually gone to a movie with friends. scary thought isnt it?

do you know why im so freakin paranoid? yeah, well, neither do i.

i think its just one of those really bad nights. theyre sort of random. never know when theyre going to sneak up on me. always so confusing.

Always by Saliva
I hear, a voice say Don't be so blind
It's telling me all these things, that you would probably hide
Am I, your one and only desire
Am I the reason you breathe, or am I the reason you cry

Always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you

I love you, I hate you, I can’t get around you
I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you

Done with you, done with you, done with you, done with you,done with you

I feel, like you don't want me around
I guess I'll pack all my things, I guess I'll see you around
It's all been bottled up until now
As I walk out your door, all I can hear is the sound of

Always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you

I love you, I hate you, I can’t get around you
I breathe you, I taste you, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you

I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you

I wrapped my head around your heart
Why would you tear my world apart?

Always... always... always... always...

I see, the blood all over your hands
Does it make you feel, more like a man?
Was it all, just a part of your plan
The pistol's shaking in my hands and all I hear is the sound

I love you, I hate you, I can't get around you
I breathe you, I taste you, I can’t live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I guess that I'm out the door and now I'm done with you

I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you
I love you, I hate you, I can't live without you
I just can't take anymore, this life of solitude
I pick myself off the floor and now I'm done with you

Always... always... always...

i was so tired yesterday. unbelievingly tired. and i have no idea why i was so tired. it wasnt the anti-congestion pills, because i asked mom and she said that they shouldnt make me ired. maybe i was just really tired for no reason at all. im going to get a scanner soon, i swear. i really want to go out this weekend and look for a good one. im going to ask dad on his opinion first though because i know nothing about them.

cant believe im still sort of sick. mom wants me to go to the doctors again because of the cold like thing ive had all this week. can you believe that ive been "sick" for almost 2 weeks now? its sort of scary. although the blood test came back ok, i still think ive got something wrong with me. it annoys me. i want to get better but nothing seems to help for some reason.

about the not eating sugar. its going very well. i resisted the lolipop in afternoon acticities yesterda. and instead i gave it to Alex. ive also decided to give up pizza. i decided that i royally hate it from now on.

i havent really updated in a long time. i mean really talked about anything. but then again nothing that significant has happened. my science project is shit, im probably getting an F on the intro i have to write, i dont have enough information to write about, and the trials take too long so i cant do anymore. these are just re-caps of the past couple days. the jewelry sale went good, we raised over $40 yesterday, and over $80 today. i dont really agree with the whole cause thing, just because i dont really think they need the money. call my cold or whatever you like, i dont care.

im currently looking for a good wallpaper for my computer, preferably something dark. as in black or a navy blueish. there are some things on deviantart that interest me, but most of them are crap.

im sort of drifting right now. very tired. way too stressed out. and i have all these really weird aches and pains in very odd places. i think i found something good, but im sort of testing different ones out. there are these two that i really like........ hmmm. just picked one. this really nice dark purple sort of swirlyness. very cool looking.

10:43
going to bed now. i practically just fell asleep reading something. oh well, maybe next time.

well, i dont have mono. and the blood test came back fine, so no high blood sugar or anything. happy, sort of. because i still have tons of congestion, and it wont go away.

but im still not eating anymore candy, confections, or anything that has any real sugar in it. like cake, chocolate chip muffins, chocolate, ice cream, you get the drift. it was very hard resisting the ice cream at lunch today. but i did, and i only had a mini tootsie-pop today. but thats it. then i exercised for 10 minutes on the elyptical (sp?). my legs felt like jelly from not using it for so long. ive made a late resolution that i will exercise for 10 minutes each day no matter what.

ive decided that i might post some scanlations (mangas that have been translated to english). no explicit things because my host wouldnt like that, just some cool stuff. that would be fun:)

what i hate about mangas/books/fanfictions/stories? the whole blackmailing other characters into having sex thing. like thsi really crappy draco/harry fanfiction in which draco was all "heh heh heh, i know your gay. so if you dont give me a blowjob im going to tell everyone" then harry was all "oh no! please dont tell anyone *gives draco blowjob*". and then dracos all "well im not gay, even though another guy is sucking on my dick". thats what i hate about it. plus it squicks me.

been really tired lately. i know why, but not really. maybe part of its because im sick, maybe that makes me more tired or something.

10:27
we are doing this about talking about race. i think its sort of pointless. i mean, i dont have a problem talking about race. ive had a puertoriqueno friend in elementary school and through out junior high, then she moved to Florida, so we couldnt really talk anymore. then i still have a muslim friend, but she moved too, actually im not sure about that, i think she might have. but i havent really been in contact with any of my old friends, i actually think 2 out of 3 of them moved away. of course i probably havent talked to anyone in my town for about 3 years, a bit scary, but none of them are nice. ok, maybe a few people, but none of them are my age.

10:33
i painted my nails last night. amazingly they came out nice, and they dried ok too. theyre sort of pink and shiny. sadly theres a couple dents from when they were still damp.

the jewelry sale is today (im in the jewelry afternoon activity). i think we have some pretty cool stuff. i love most of the earings i made, and i snagged a couple of them for me. i made them so dont say anything! xD theyre pretty cool looking.

Santiago is the best song ever.

and the Governor of Connecticut has declared tomorrow, February 8th, M. Swift Day. thats my great grandfather. hes turning one hundred and two (102) tomorrow. my dad wants to the the certificate framed. a bit obsessive, but hey! we have the right i do say good chap ;)

and this post will be purposely public for alittle while so people may oggle and wonder.

*EDIT* he who is of little faith knows not the truth of god. this came into my head, and it sorta sounds familiar, but not really. so maybe it isnt. but who knows...

i finally got Model #1, Gravi #10, and the third Dot hack// dvd. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

as you can see, i am very haaaaaaapppyyyyyyyy...

i just read the best fanfiction ever possible. i am amazed and saddened that it is over.

i think im going raving mad. im sick, i have my period, and im overwhelmed with homework which i cant decipher.

i had to fast from 9 o'clock last night until about 11 o'clock today... i had to because of the blood test. it sucked majorly. but it only hurt a little bit, and i was very happy when it was over :) i got Ivey some new stuff for her cage. a new wood block, a new tube thingy, some new treats and some extra bubble caps. she seemed very happy. also cleaned the cage, so now it doesnt stink :) yay xD and there was this really big black awsome dog at the pet store. it had long black hair (not curly) and its head was probably bigger than mine is. but it was so nice and soft looking, and very kind looking too. my mom said it was a Bermese, but i dont even know if thats a dog or not. if anyone knows what it is please do tell.

oh! and i got a new mouse today! no, not a mouse mouse, a computer mouse. its a wireless one, but the good kind! not like the crappy one that blew up on me. its really small and compact and its about half the size smaller than my old mouse, okay, maybe not half the size, but much smaller and more compact. and this one you can plus the little thingy into a lap top, so that means you can use the mouse for the laptop instead of the horrible little pad thing (ive always hated those so much). and we also looked at scanners while at staples. it was fun, there were only a few though, and some of them looked pretty crappy. but there was one i really did like. sucks though, it was 200 dollars. but ive got to ask dad for help in picking out a good scanner, he would know stuff like that. hes going to help me find a good one, one that i can actually afford (hopefully).

erg. evil tuna fish. yuck :P bleck. stinky stinky stinky tuna fish.

and ummmmmm i didnt do any work today... but im vey content with that.

oh and one last thing. my mom called the doctor to tell her i still wasnt feeling well and that i had been going to school for the last couple days (she was talking to the nurse not the doctor) and the nurse was all like "Why was she going to school?! She should have been staying home and getting rest!!!" then my mom was like "Well Doctor (blankety blank blank), told her she should go to school as long as she didnt have a fever, and that it would be a hassle to make up work." then the nurse put my doctor on and my doctor was like "Why was Emily going to school?! She should have been at home resting!" and my mom was like "But you said she should go to school if she could!"

yeah, funny conversation. so apparently i shouldnt have even been at school this week.

so, yesterday was good. English class was fun. throat was good, didnt hurt. them BOOM! today hit. my throat hurt so much this morning that i couldnt even get three words out in a whisper without whimpering. at around the end of Health it started to feel a lot better, but throughout the day it bugged me sometimes. and then tonight i got more congestion and a sore throat. and tomorrow a blood test. yay. i had to eat lots, so i wont be hungry in the morning because i have to fast for twelve hours (im sleeping for about all those hours though so its ok). a headache too, which royally sucks. *is sad because she doesnt want to be sick anymore*

i really dont want to have mono. i probably do... maybe.

i have now been oficially sick for 7 days. yesterday was a very rough day, my congestion got so bad i could barely breath, and i could hardly talk. today was great though:) i woke up, throat didnt hurt at all, my nose only itched a bit. then school came, still great though, but nose got sore again. then dinner, and the congestion kicked in again. mom says it always gets worse at anight. it sucks, alot. i had to take a gwoffinex (i know, its not spelled that way, but thats how its said). nose still sore, lips very chapped (for some reason my lips have been very chapped lately). but other than that todays been great. we got to watch the rest of the movie in English class today, i was clueless as to what was going on (i didnt get to see the beggining half of it), no idea at all. we were watching "oh brother where art thou". good lunch, funny SAFE meeting, did lots of homework in stufy hall, came home, have been working on History since then. bye bye, got to go finish that... yay.

*drool* look at the stripes!


look at the stripes again!


and the wheels! and fishy gill thingys.


and the pretty leather interior.

this is so funny: its an article about slash, it was in a UK magazine. heres the post i got it from, she wanted people to link back to it, so here it is http://www.livejournal.com/community/yaoi/1549383.html?nc=7

*EDIT*

*screams* NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

die die die!

there are only 280 Shelby Series 1's ever made. and this one http://www.shelby-cars.com/12186.htm costs $159.900. and if you dont want to go and visit the website, this is what it says about the car.

1999 Shelby Series 1 - BRAND NEW!
Stock #12186 - $159,900 - Here's a chance to own a piece of history. Shelby Series 1 serial number CSX 5280, and based on production estimates, is quite likely the last of a total of 280 Series 1's manufactured by Shelby Automobiles. This car is exceptionally rare, and already a collector's car It is a brand new, fully optioned car with a carbon fiber body, 350 HP V-8, six speed transmission, Shelby brakes and suspension, rack and pinion steering, fully loaded. Original silver with red stripes. 0-60 in 4.4 seconds. With a a supercharger option, you can bring that down to a 3.5 second 0-60 time. Unmatched handling and performance for the price. As a dealer for Carroll Shelby's company, we can deliver it anywhere in the world. Note that the pictures shown are pictures of "demonstrator" vehicles, and from the Shelby Museum. The actual car available for purchase is in the Shelby factory, located at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

SOLD

nooooooooooooooooooooo!!! so sad. and i dont think they sell Shelby kit cars anymore. *sad sad sad*

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i feel like shit? well i do. i thought i was getting better , but i guess im not.

this morning was ok, got up- took shower- throat hurt- ate breakfast- throat felt better- took cough drop- throat hurts- sneeze sneeze sneeze- ow ow ow- headache- stomach ache- throat hurts- dizzy- woozy- comes home- burns tongue on soup.

so as you can see i may not be going to school tomorrow. even though i really do want to becaus ethe science thing (which i am actually looking forward to). also we have the project due in history and we have a spanish test. and we get to roll condoms on fake "penises" in health. thatll be fun *sarcasmn*

i look like shit. except not in those words. but i guess i do look really pale, really really really pale. my throats gotten a hell of a lot better, and now i know i dont have strep throat. but if im still sick by the end of the week that means theres a large possibility that i have mono. so i have to have blood work done this saturday. which sucks. its to make sure my insulin levels arent too high and to make sure i dont have mono. ive had blood taken once before, it was okay, just a small pinch. and i looked, which wasnt a very smart idea. so dont look if you ever have to have blood taken. i just hope that the people im going to see arent complete assholes and dont know how to do their job. but mom says my dads a complete sissy when it comes to needles, and were going to the place that he goes to. so i am going to school tomorrow, but who knows if ill have all my homework done, i better or else im screwed. god, i havent even finished the rough copy of my history... see, this is me screwed.

mom thinks i might have strep. i have to go to the doctors tomorrow, so i wont be in school (i also wont be in school because if i really do have it, i dont want to give it to someone else). ive had this on and off fever all day, and although ive been really good about only eating squishy foods, and drinking tons of water, and taking my pills. nothing seems to make the sore throat go away. thats why mom thinks its strep.